Friday, July 30, 2010

The Soundtrack to the Magical Senior Prom I Never Had


Enslaved, Below the Lights.

It would have been a magical evening, my black metal prom night. Impossible, yes. My actual senior prom was years before black metal. Euronymous was still very much alive, and playing some memorable gigs, when I visited that hotel lobby with my actual prom date, decked out in a pink puffy prom dress and makeup that made her look like a desperate twelve dollar hooker.

No, this is not that prom. This is black metal prom night. In the burned out church, lit by torches, they arrive in singlets, twos, and clusters of twelve or more. Some of them wear homemade chainmail armor and carry broadswords, others wear camouglage and carry hardware store axes, but most wear spikes and studded leather, tall boots, and corpsepaint. There is a burning altar. A pyre of logs and dug-up coffins, heaped with church benches, ablaze against the night sky. It is not June. It is January, and it is snowing. Wolves howl. It is not early evening. It is 2AM, and most of these people have been up all night drinking and doing speed. Women in black dresses and corpse paint lead another prom date, a nude albino woman with enormous breasts and prosthetic fangs, by a chain leash and a collar.

There is a punch bowl full of clotted blood. Nobody drinks.
Somebody is passing around a human skull to sign. Girls are kissing it. It has not been cleaned since its demise, sixteen months ago.
The punch bowl is empty. The punch was laced with LSD. By now, people are seeing visions of Odin and Satan riding in the back seat of a limousine together.

None of them dance. There is no dancing to be done tonight.

Torches are passed out to the song "Havenless". It is time to burn the high school to the ground.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

你的選擇就是做或不做,不做就永遠不會有機會............................................................

Dr. Indus Malhari said...

By the same reasoning, the Indo Europeans invaded the Indian Subcontinent a few centuries ago. Ice ages were put an end to by mammoth hunters. Hammocks were hung.