Thursday, June 24, 2010

50 Metal Bands by Dungeons and Dragons Alignment

You know you need this list, to plan your fantasy battles in Middle Earth, or to arrange a soundtrack to the screenplay you are writing in your head, the one where ettins and orcs team up with ogres to fight elves, humans, and a peculiar old wizard that is really YOU. Note that there are a lot of "true neutrals", this is because a detached perspective, that of the storyteller who does not pass judgement, is fairly common as lyrics go. Also, modern viewpoints, those grounded consciously or unconsciously in philosophies that postdate 1300, tend to register as Neutral in Dungeons and Dragons Terms. Still, many bands take sides and you might need this list. Note that there is not a single Lawful Neutral. Rock is the antithesis of that perspective. As you might have predicted, there are many more evil bands than good ones.

1. Burzum. Neutral Evil. Varg Vikernes was and is, actually, a pretty horrible and evil guy, by almost any estimation. This is not just a songwriting perspective.
2. Mayhem. Chaotic Evil.
3. Emperor. Lawful Evil.
4. Gorgoroth. Neutral Evil.
5. Toxic Holocaust. Chaotic Neutral.
6.. Metallica. Neutral
7. Venom. Chaotic Evil.
8. Megadeth. Neutral.
9. Mercyful Fate. Lawful Evil. Storytellers, yes, but inevitably on Satan's side. They made this clear in "The Oath".
10. Morbid Angel. Chaotic Evil
11. Sodom. Chaotic Neutral.
12. Kreator. Chaotic Neutral, Evil Tendencies.
13. The Scorpions. Neutral (selfish), with some chaotic and good tendencies.
14. Nightwish. Neutral Good. The song "The Carpenter" is about a version of Jesus, and they ooze empathy for people and their suffering.
15. Type O Negative. True Neutral or Neutral Evil, depending upon the song and the album. They hate god, for sure, but they rarely embrace cruelty and violence for its own sake. They are that noble kind of evil that makes for interesting villains.
16. Slayer. Here is an enigma. The band switches between alignments from one great song to the next. In one great song, they support Christ (Jesus Saves), in another, they deny him (Cult), they make a monster like Joseph Mengele seem cool, or do they vilify him? They are torn between Lawful Good, and a much stronger, Neutral Evil streak.
17. Bathory Chaotic Evil.
18. Armoured Saint. Lawful Good.
19. DragonForce. Lawful Good.
20. Stryper. Neutral Good, but too shitty of a band to be worth a damn in the fight against orcs or goblins.
21. Judas Priest. Neutral.
22. Van Halen. Neutral (selfish neutral, not true neutral) This band was all about the partying, and never took sides.
23. Black Sabbath (Ozzy Era). Chaotic Good. This might surprise you, but give all the of the songs another listen, and you will realize that Geezer Butler's lyrics were informed from a pro-Yaweh perspective, and many were warnings about Satan. They also laud figures like "The Wizard", who shake things up, and bring chaos. War Pigs is, essentially, an anthem against the forces of Lawful Evil.
24. Black Sabbath (Dio Era). True Neutral
25. Iron Maiden. True Neutral.
26. Children of Bodom. Chaotic Evil.
27. Arch Enemy. True Neutral, or an ideological Chaotic Neutral. This band can get overtly political, and many of its lyrics are against tyranny, real or more fantasy-based. It is usually the ideologically-grounded chaotic neutrals who rail against corrupt tyrannies, more than anyone else.
28. Guns N Roses. Selfish Neutral.
29. Motley Crue. Selfish Neutral.
30. Rush. Lawful Good.
31. Led Zepplein. Selfish Neutral.
32. Deicide. Neutral Evil.
33. Hellhammer. Neutral Evil.
34. Enslaved. Neutral Evil.
35. Monster Magnet. Chaotic Neutral.
36. Lamb of God. Neutral.
37. Iced Earth. True Neutral, with hints of Lawful Good. When it comes down to it, they seem to throw their lot in with God. Days of Purgatory is about Revelations, and they seem to be against the antichrist.
38. Dio. True Neutral.
39. Cannibal Corpse. Chaotic Evil.
38. Macabre. Chaotic Evil.
39. Three Inches of Blood. Neutral, Chaotic Tendencies.
40. Immortal. Neutral Evil.
41. Satyricon. Chaotic Evil.
42. Dark Funeral. Neutral Evil.
43. Nile. Neutral.
44. Possessed. Neutral Evil.
45. Motorhead. Chaotic Neutral.
46. Cradle of Filth. Neutral Evil.
47. Def Leppard. Selfish Neutral.
48. Queensryche. True Neutral.
49. Dimmu Borgir. Neutral Evil.
50. Sepultura. Neutral, but see the note for ArchEnemy.

2 comments:

steel_wolf said...

What´s the meaning of "Selfish Neutral" ?

steel_wolf said...

The lyrics to "Jesus Saves" are sarcastic and not supportive of Christ.