bonded by blood

My parasitic twin sits beside me, the stool too cramped for the two of us, he being the sibling with all the brains and no morals to speak of, his ass is comfortable and mine is not. I have spent the afternoon crying big salty tears into a glass of white ale. My brother drinks gimlets and would never cry unless it could somehow get a woman into bed with him. We both wear metalshirts, but his is for a cooler band. We both know this. He is planning his next move. I am contemplating my last one. We are both happy, at the moment. We cannot stand up and take a walk without each other, but I sometimes mistake him for myself, and wonder about my own actions. My evil twin did it. My evil twin does everything cool. I wash the laundry. My evil twin poisons housewives. I enter grades. My evil twin seduces undergraduates. I read books. My evil twin studies tomes. We have a beer together, my evil twin and I, a glass worth drinking.